Generosity of the heart

Someone told me today that I was being taken advantage of by some people close to me. Initially I wanted to disagree because the thought of me thinking badly of these people close to me just didn't sit very well, something like a bad thought and that I shouldn't be feeling that way. But the more I thought about it, the more I couldn't deny that that was indeed what was happening. I was being taken advantage of. Yet the reason why I felt like it was a bad thought to have, was that these are the very same people who have helped me in some other way. I know it's not you take advantage of me this way and I take advantage of you some other way kinda thing, yet it made me feel like I was being ungrateful for thinking of them this way because I had been at the receiving end of their help as well. 

I once read this quote during a temple tour - 人生最大的修养是宽容, that a person's greatest cultivation is tolerance. I think it actually takes a lot to not hold it against someone even when they do not treat you nicely. I for one cannot say that I am always able to do that. Maybe it would be easier to just not be so affected in the first place as everyone has different values. 

A thought a day for a week

1. Let go of negative people
Some people just drain you of all your energy. It happens. Don't try to save the world, you can't save everyone from their bad (seriously, can you even call it bad...) life of work/unfairness/unhappiness/love/whatever makes them think their life is bad. There just comes a point in time you need to cut these people out of your life before they drain every single drop of energy and positivity from you.

2. Stay true to yourself
Believe in yourself and live by the values you believe in. The more you try to be someone you're not, the more you lose yourself and your direction.

3. Look forward
Nothing will change the past. Harping on it and wallowing will only put you in a worse state that you're really in. Pack up and keep moving forward. Do not let your past disappointments keep you from achieving the things you can do. Also, refer to 1.

4. Nothing comes without hard work
No food for those who do not work - old but definitely wise Chinese saying. If you're working less that others, there is no reason you should be reaping more.

5. Gratitude
Do not forget all the grace and help you've received from those who have supported you when you were down. Count your blessings. You can never thank enough. Appreciate your lover too - it's never easy loving someone and all their weird antics.

6. Take the time to smell the flowers
There's always time to slow down and give the people who deserve your attention more time. Don't wait till time has passed before wishing you'd done more.

7. Think fast, decide fast, act fast
Be decisive and clear about what you want. Act fast or someone will beat you to it. That said, don't act on impulse too.